Thursday, August 12, 2010

Russell Crowe's height? He's on stilts!!!

Ah, the illusion of the big screen. An alert BHP reader sent on this little item which was published by in December 2000 about Russell Crowe's height:

Heart-throb actor RUSSELL CROWE wears special shoes which make him look taller - and help him to keep his action hero image.
The GLADIATOR star was reported to have taken off his unique footwear at a hollywood bash hosted by producer JERRY BRUCKHEIMER - and swiftly shrunk in size.
Onlookers revealed the host elbowed Crowe and muttered, "Put your shoes on, you're blowing your image." height:
5' 11"!

BHP estimate: 5'8"

Noggin size: Rockmelon, mate!

What readers say:
russel crowe 591/4--Master Chief

Matthew McConaughey grows like a weed!

NEWS FLASH: Actor grows taller!

I spotted Matthew McConaughey not too long ago, and he was 5'11" tall! Funny, years ago when I was an extra on the film The Newton Boys, Mathew McConaughey sauntered up to the dinner wagon. He was at best 5'6" tall! And that's generous! I've seen Sandra Bullock more than once and she ain't tall--5'5". Has McConaughey's celebrity height suddenly increased in a 30ish growth spurt or are film star McConaughey's boots filled with new lifts? What do you think, my tall bubba?

NOTE: I don't know what Sandra Bullock and MM have on their feet in this photo! Special height growing shoes from the Amazon? lists him at 6' tall!

America's Most Tiny!

OK, John Walsh of America's Most Wanted has done great things for our nation. But I saw him in person: He's 5'4" tall!

Melon size: Kiwano.

What's bigger: Corey or a picnic table?

Answer: Feldman, but not by much!

Eighties teen star Corey Feldman arrived at an odd screening of The Goonies in a cave near Austin, Texas, a few years back and proved why his career is so short on hits. His noggin, however, was much smaller than expected. Film fans got a sticker that listed Corey's height as 5'10" tall and weight at 120 lbs.

BHP guess: 5'3" tall!

Noggin: grapefruit.

What our readers say:

Youre right about the Corey Feldman being tiny. Standing beside Dustin diamon in Dickie Roberts he looked about 4ft 5, never mind 5ft 4! --Anonymous

this site is really funny. the comments or headlines crack me up!!! The Corey Feldman one is serious humor. --Stacey

Is Dog the Bounty Hunter a puppy?

Last October we ate dinner at a downtown restaurant in Austin, Texas. I saw Duane "Dog" Chapman the bounty hunter sitting down. You could tell he was really small. In the booth, he looked like a little kid. His arms and legs were very small. He had a big head, too, and his mullet was flowing like silk in the wind. Although he was sitting down, I guessed his height to be 5’4” tall to 5’6” tall. – G in Austin

Sandra Bullock, William Shatner and Candice Bergen sititng in a tree...

Don't mean to rag on Sandra Bullock, but I was on the set of Miss Congeniality in Austin way back when and saw her, Candice Bergen and William Shatner standing side by side on the stage. All three were pretty close in height and all quite SHORT. What are the official listings for supposed 5'7 1/2" Sandy's pals? Petite Bergen says she's 5'7 1/2" and Capt. Kirk claims 5"9' 1/2!!!

BHP height guess for all three: 5'5".

Melon size: Bullock-cantaloupe, Bergen-muskmelon, Shatner-watermelon.

Taking the late night talk show fall!

Ten ways they fool us on guest height:

1. Wearing boots. These add two inches to celebrity height.
2. Putting lifts in the tall star's boots. Right, Hugh Jackman?
3. By walking slowly (Josh Lucas didn't and fell on Conan once).
4. Ring around the desk. Shorter hosts like 5'9" Jay Leno stand on a tall spot, while 6'4" Conan O'Brien stands at a low point.
5. Leaning waaaaay over to shake less-tall celebrities' hands.
6. Having non-tall stars sitting when camera cuts to them.
7. Very low chair--Conan's knees must be sore!
8. Never show guests' feet. Hide the boots and stiletto heels.
9. By lying about the host's height. Conan is described as a giant. Jay as being "tall." Right. And I'm in the NBA.
10. Just plain lying.

Yo, Rocky! How tall is Sylvester Stallone?

Stallone's height has been in question since the beginning of his career. The Internet Movie Database lists him at 5"9 1/2', which is probably about two inches too much but at least he's not claiming to be a giant.

His noggin size: Casaba melon.

In his book With Nails Richard Grant says Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are:
"substantially shorter than 6 foot."

Here's a newspaper article that provides some insight:

Career setbacks aren't keeping Stallone out of the ring
DATE: July 25, 2003
PUBLICATION: Austin American-Statesman (TX)
Stallone appears tan and fit on this day, his shirt sleeves stretched taut around softball-sized biceps. It's said Stallone stands between 5-feet-8 and 5-feet-10, which looks about right. While that's the average height of a grown man, it's apparently Lilliputian to spectators who want their screen heroes bigger than life.

Arnold Schwarzenegger's height?

The Internet Movie Data Base lists Arnold Schwarzenegger as 6"2' (snicker)!

In his book With Nails Richard Grant says Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are:
"substantially shorter than 6 foot."

Here is what visitors to Big-Headed Pygmies say:

It all sounded right on to me -- except I met Arnold during the election and he seemed a bit taller than 5"7', but it was in a crowd. --Casey Ericson

BHP listing: 5'10".

Noggin size: Watermelon.

How tall is Tom Cruise really?

The Internet Movie Data Base awhile back downgraded Tom Cruise and his infamous lack of height from a laughable 5'11" to an only semi-laughable 5'7". Were they listening to Big-Headed Pygmies? Perhaps then they'll realize that's his height only when wearing boots/lifts! The Huffington Post recently mused about just this topic in regard to photos of him with Cameron Diaz.

His noggin size? Cantaloupe.

Here's what readers have had to say:

I finally had my Tom Cruise sighting last week at Dodger stadium with the Olympic torch. I was about 20 feet away, and I believe that the 5"7'-5"8' is correct. He was shorter than the female interviewer in heels, and she was about 5"8'. --Kerry

I want to know Tom Cruise's real height. One says 5"7' the other 5"9' and then i hear 5"5'. --Rory

Hey, guys. I'm not sure if this is true but I just read (and I even have the magazine in my hand) that Tom Cruise is actually without a doubt 5"5' tall. Is this a joke? Miki

Tom is not 5"11'. He is 5"7'. Colin Farrell is 5"10'. Is Nicole Kidman realy 5"11'? How could Tom have walked with her without looking Mom and son? heh heh heh --Will

Nicole Kidman's early bios say she was 5-9 so when tom grew 2 inches she had to as well. --Barry

tom cruise is definitely not 511 hes 5"6'[168cm].--Master Chief

(BHP NOTE: We stick to inches. cm is a euro thing common on sites who stole our idea for this one!)

Met Tom Cruise not at ATT same as my gf at 5"6' --Mike

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Big-Headed Pygmies is back!

After an odd hiatus, Big-Headed Pygmies is back and ready to reclaim the celebrity height crown from the odd Brit who saw it on our site first.(You know who you are--the one who doesn't question the head BHP Honcho's height but does question what he does for a living.)

This site has lived in many forms for many years, including a stop in India (we kid you not. Those Bollywood stars? Shrimpy, my friends.) We will go beyond the usual suspects--Sylvester Stallone, Tom Cruise--and give you the skinny on the shorties.

Here is the explanation for this site as it first appeared many, many years ago in a short galaxy that needs a sandwich and a large hat:

Warning: movie stars may be smaller than they appear.

If you watched closely during any recent Academy Awards ceremony, you saw what I'm talking about. Burly Russell Crowe looks manly, yes, but is he really the 5'11" (and a half!) that he claims? Check a photo of him at the 2001 Oscars standing next to Julia Roberts, who professes to be 5'9" and note how they're the same height. And what if she's fibbing a little as well? (Yup. We've seen her in person.) Well, friends, according to my quick eyeballing (wink, wink) at a recent movie premiere not held in la-la land, she's stretching both her height and the truth! Ah, the Hollywood axiom is delete at least two years from the age and insert two inches on the height.

But to add to the confusion we have those few truth tellers who screw the whole thing up. Sissy Spacek? An admitted 5'2". But don't go calling Judi Dench a 5'2" shorty. She'll correct you-it's 5'1' and three quarters!

This is the dilemma we, the truth-seeking movie public, face. The movies are dream factories but reality is slapping us in the face with tiny Tom Cruise, size-impaired Sly Stallone and wee Willy Shatner. It just isn't fair, super-celebs. Either tell us the truth or agree never to come out in public again. Okay?

Which brings us to the Web site Big-Headed Pygmies. Half of the most foolish actions occur after realizing we're having the same conversation one too many times. This particular one started years ago when we discovered the three factors that seem to lead to on-screen success: a shortage in the height department, emaciation and a noggin the size of a watermelon. Calista Flockhart isn't an aberration when her toothpick frame collapses on the Ally McBeal set; she's just a pumpkin-headed extreme.

In English class they call this problem cognitive dissonance. It's where reality doesn't match up to what we're told. Such was the case a couple of years ago (make that a decade) on the set of Miss Congeniality.

I'm an admitted serial movie extra. Under the lights I've sat on a stool in an imitation topless bar, been a fake car dealer, stood in a line outside an artificial nightclub pretending to be a sleazy record executive. Miss Congeniality was easy, just sit in the audience and watch an unreal beauty pageant.

Out tromped sparkly Sandra Bullock, followed soon by demure Candice Bergen. From stage left wisecracking William Shatner emerged. The three celebs stood side by side on the stage and I knew something was askew. They were all the exact same height and, to put it gently, they were vertically challenged. My guess was 5'4". Not that there's anything wrong with that.

At home I booted my computer and aimed for, the site that encourages movie folk to list their own personal stats. There the unfacts sat in all their glory: Sandra Bullock, 5'7"; Candice Bergen, 5'8"; and Capt. Kirk, a whopping 5'11"!

I slumped in my computer chair (all 6'2", uh make that 6'4", of me) and faced the extremely obvious. In the land of make believe, height is determined by a factoring program that involves the metric system, hat size and a prison diet. Translated--Shatner was obviously considered the tallest because his head was the most monstrous! Big Giant Head indeed.

Since I was already sitting in front of the computer, I did what came naturally. I built a Web site and called it Big-Headed Pygmies. I remembered the quote from famous drinker and Irish actor Richard Harris and made it my motto. "Tom Cruise is a midget and surrounds himself with 6'10" bodyguards who make him look even more diminutive. Actors are insignificant."

Ah, but what is next in this mission of honesty? You, my friend. If each of you emails to just one photo of you standing next to a celeb, we will be on our way. Assuming you give your correct height! Come on, what's to lose but a nasty dose of celebrity worship? Come clean. Stand tall. Breath deep. You don't even want us to start talking about Ben Affleck and fake hair...